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Try this: Before he enters you in missionary, reach between his legs and grab his penis.

Then press your knuckles gently into this spot and start massaging. The male sex organ Everyone knows this is a huge part of sex. And while you may have mastered the typical handy and blow job, try to spice things up with something totally uncharted like a reverse finger job. Twist the rings in opposite directions moving from middle to the top and base of his shaft at the same time.

Remember to use lube though! As the most sensitive part of the penis, the head can be a fickle art to master. Hold his shaft with your fingers, but not in a fist avoid holding his penis like a microphone, but do approach it with the same blind confidence of a mediocre stand-up act.

Keesling suggests varying the sensations by opening your mouth a bit and rubbing his head between them. Or like how socks always have a seam in them? Try this: Cradle his balls in one hand while gently pressing the first two fingertips of your other hand into the top of the crease close to where the testicles connect to the base of his penis. Then trace downward with your fingers until you reach the bottom of his scrotum.

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The F-spot is the little nubbin of flesh underneath the crown of his penis connecting the head to the shaft. Each time you circle your tongue around to his frenulum, flick it a few times with your tongue stiffened, and then relax and go back to licking the crown. As clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Kristie Overstreet explains, the pudendal nerve that stimulates all the areas of the groin is located here, at the bottom of the spinal cord. Try this: Have your partner take his shirt off and lay on his stomach with his arms by his side.

Hot tip: Keep his pants on, but pull them down a few inches for a tantalizing never-nude experience.

What is sexual pleasure?

Lightly run your fingers or anxiety-ravaged cuticles down across his lower back, stopping before you hit ass cheek. Try this: Overstreet suggests kissing your partner across his shoulder, up his neck, and stopping right before you hit his ear. I have heard from many women about how terrifying it is for them to talk to their partners during sex about what feels good, even simple feedback such as to go deeper, softer, faster, slower.

We are used to reading about women faking orgasms. But let me tell you, so many women are having silent orgasms , while others are unable to have discussions about the type of sex positions they prefer, for fear of rousing suspicion — and potentially being shamed — about having had previous partners and sexual encounters. In many cases, how people express their sexuality is still linked to stereotypical ideas about genitalia, whose pleasure this body is meant for, who is meant to have an orgasm during sex, what is an orgasm, and what even counts as sex.

How to Orgasm: 10 Tips for Female Pleasure

In cis hetero relationships, many women are unable to negotiate details such as use of a condom or whether to get pregnant. These dynamics can also result in physical and sexual violence, which we know has lifelong consequences on physical, mental, and emotional health.

I believe this all stems from a basic lack of understanding of what sexual pleasure is and the role it should play in having sex. This has informed my work as a medical doctor and an advocate for affirming sex education and health-care solutions. To me, a good recipe for sexual pleasure — and thereby sexual health — includes access to lubricants, well-designed female and male condoms, sex toys, and the ability to have sex when, how, and with whom you want and asking for how you want it.


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Young people should have evidence-based resources and safer spaces where they can be free to talk as they explore for themselves what sexual pleasure is. I imagine a world where women can find their clitoris, unleash the power of the vulva, and simply allow the rhythm and warmth of the blood rush to the genitals take them to a place of mind-numbing, toe-curling orgasms without fear.

By asserting that sexual pleasure is a human right, we then need to commit to ending those structures, laws, cultural practices, and sexist expectations of what it means to be a sexual being. Only then will discussions around sex take on a different tone. Erotic and genital massage and reciting positive affirmations throughout self-play without penetrative sex until you feel comfortable are great. Topics Sex Shortcuts. Reuse this content.

Enough Pleasure To Go Around - Sex Sent Me to the ER

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